You are enough. You are smart enough. You are competent enough. You don’t need all that other negativity. You are enough.”
~ Heather Axworthy
You are enough. You are smart enough. You are competent enough. You don’t need all that other negativity. You are enough.”~ Heather Axworthy
I recently had the opportunity to talk with a real-life superwoman who is a fierce champion of women’s empowerment and finding your voice. She also happens to be my Aunt Heather 😉.
Heather is a Cybersecurity Expert and Cloud Architect who assists enterprise and global customers. She also advises, recommends, and architects out secure cloud-based solutions. She is based out of New York City. For years, I have looked up to her for the strength and grace with which she carries herself regardless of what life has thrown at her. Our conversation about women’s empowerment and her journey went a little something like this:
Would you consider your job to be in a male-dominated field?
“Oh my god yes! My whole career has been in a male-dominated industry. In every career, every job I’ve ever had, I’ve usually been the ‘lone woman.’ There’s like 2 or 3 of us but that’s it. “
What was it like to be thrown into that kind of work environment after college? Did you feel extra pressure to prove yourself?
“There’s constant pressure all the time because when you’re a woman in this field, especially in a customer-facing type of role, which I’m in now and have been for the last 12 years of my career, you do not get a second chance. Men do. Women have to be right and completely accurate the first time. Otherwise, they just dismiss us.”
Why do you think it’s like that?
“I think it just has to do with history and the culture. Most of the customers I talk to are men because men are in these types of roles. They’re either a CIO, CEO, VP, Directors..and they’re usually men most of the time. In a man-to-man conversation, men get a pass. They always get a pass. And women do not. It’s maddening. There is always a pressure to be right. Otherwise, your credibility is lost. That’s been my experience.”
I’ve read a lot about the pay gap between men and women and how the pandemic has taken an even harder toll on women. What are your thoughts about that?
As a woman, we work twice as hard for 20% less pay. Here’s an example – 10 years ago I accidentally was sent a spreadsheet and it contained a list of all reports and salaries. I found out that I was making more than $20,000 less than my male colleague who had little to no experience in the field. I printed it out and brought it to my manager. He replied, “Well, he has a family.” I had a husband, three step kids, family to support…Men are still considered “head of household” today in many spaces. Covid-19 has really shone a bright light on this problem. In the past year, women have taken the brunt of child care during the pandemic. Women have been affected in such a big way.
You’ve always been the epitome of an empowered woman to me and have been such a role model in that regard. Was there a time when you struggled to find your voice and how did you overcome that challenge?
“Yes, I struggled. And I think all women struggle even to this day. Definitely. I always felt ‘imposter syndrome’ for a long time. We’re always afraid if we say the wrong thing. It’s hard to find your voice. But eventually you do and you just get up everyday and live in your truth. And it’s nobody’s else’s problem. Society will always try to convince you that you’re the problem. My favorite quote is ‘I will not shrink myself to make others comfortable. I deserve to be in the room.'”
Who would you say was your biggest influence growing up?
“In my industry, since it is male-dominated, in order to get equality men have to be included in the conversation because there’s more of them. You need them and their support. If you can find a male ally, that’s fantastic. In my entire career I’ve found 2. That’s not a lot, but if you can find just one, other men will pay attention. We need them in the conversation to help us. You can’t alienate men. You have to include them.”
Was there a turning point for you in terms of finding your confidence and power as a woman in this industry?
“I would say it was when I turned 40. I just kind of said, ‘ya know, I’m not gonna try to please anybody. I’m done trying to be everything. This is me.’ I think it will come sooner for your generation because of the influences you’ve had. Your generation is more media aware, tech savvy, you’re out in society participating, you question more – which is fantastic! You have to question. The challenge is when a woman questions, she’s seen as a bitch. When a guy questions he’s just curious and intelligent. I hate that double standard, but you have to keep questioning.”
If you could, what would you go back and tell your younger self about learning to be an empowered woman?
“Hmmm. I think I would tell her ‘you are enough. You are smart enough. You are competent enough. You don’t need all that other negativity. You are enough.’ As women, we always feel like we have to be 12 different things, perfectly. But you don’t – you are enough.”
What does women’s empowerment mean to you?
“I think it’s about knowing your own self-worth and owning you who are. At the core. And not trying to be something else. Just be who you are regardless of what everyone else is telling you to be.”
I hope you enjoyed reading Heather’s incredibly powerful words as much as I enjoyed talking with her. If you take anything from this post, take this – know your worth.💛
Woman Up 
Hi Olivia! Wow, your aunt seems so awesome and so nice. She gave me so much inspiration just from reading this interview. The questions you asked her allowed for some really interesting and thought provoking responses! Really great job with this post!
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Hi again! It’s clear that you used all of the writer’s ‘roles and class goals in this post in a great way. For narrator, it was clear when you said, “For years, I have looked up to her for the strength and grace with which she carries herself regardless of what life has thrown at her. Our conversation about women’s empowerment and her journey went a little something like this.” Not only was it clear that you look up to her, but you set the stage for what the interview was going to be about. For the reporter role, the most interesting specific moment within the interview portion was when you asked your aunt, “Was there a turning point for you in terms of finding your confidence and power as a woman in this industry?” And also when your aunt responded and said, “I would say it was when I turned 40. I just kind of said, ‘ya know, I’m not gonna try to please anybody. I’m done trying to be everything. This is me.” I found this question and her response to be the most interesting because it’s so empowering and she finally realized her place and power within herself and her career. Again, for the reporter role, my favorite specific moment within your framing of the interview was when you opened with a great quote and said, “You are enough. You are smart enough. You are competent enough. You don’t need all that other negativity. You are enough.”~ Heather Axworthy. I recently had the opportunity to talk with a real-life superwoman who is a fierce champion of women’s empowerment and finding your voice. She also happens to be my Aunt Heather.” I liked how it framed the interview because it allowed readers a glimpse of what the interview was going to be about, and how it was also a personal interview because she’s your aunt. I loved everything about this post, but I think the two things I enjoyed most was the picture of your Aunt Heather because it put a face to a name, and also the last thing your aunt said, which was “I think it’s about knowing your own self-worth and owning you who are. At the core. And not trying to be something else. Just be who you are regardless of what everyone else is telling you to be.” Have a great weekend!
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Hi Olivia! This was a great read and I can see why your aunt is such an inspiration, she seems like such a powerful woman in her industry. I also really liked the interview style of this blog because it gave it so much depth. I took a lot away from this post, so thanks for sharing!!
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For the narrator role; you introduced your aunt, went into detail with questions regarding her job and experiences as a women in the industry, and closed nicely with your final questions, great use of the role! The most interesting interview portion of your post was that your aunt had only found 2 male allies over her career. Its both shocking but also a sad reality about how divided jobs can be, I try to be an ally so I hope she continues to find more in her journey. I like how you started the post, the intro of your aunt from your perspective framed the rest of it really well. Overall I really enjoyed the questions you asked and the interesting answers your aunt gave back!
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